Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just playing. I'll put'em back when I'm done.

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: After getting a new partner, Scully and Mulder go on a ghost hunt in a haunted house. Things don’t turn out the way they expect and naturally, Mulder ends up getting hurt.

“STICKS AND STONES
MAY BREAK MY BONES
BUT SPOOKS CAN NEVER HURT ME
...RIGHT?"

J. Edgar Hoover Building, Washington D.C.
Assistant Director Skinner's office
October 30
08.00 a.m.

The day had begun with a bang. Quite literally. A blown-out tire later, Skinner wasn't in the best of moods and when his counterpart from Spokane showed up in his office, he felt that life couldn't become more complicated. John Goldberg was the kind of guy who only showed up in person when something was wrong.

"Walter, good to see you," he said, shaking hands with Skinner in his overly animated fashion.

Skinner disengaged his hand before the other man could shake it of his arm. "John," he said a little curtly and settled back on his chair. "To what do I owe this honor?" he added in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice.

Goldberg sat down across from him, folded his hands and leaned forward. "Walter, I have a problem." His tone of voice was low and his grey eyes piercing. Skinner couldn't help thinking that the man was going to shove a scorpion down his collar. Figuratively speaking, of course. "A big one."

"Don't we all," Skinner commented dryly, not really interested in Goldberg's problems. ‘I have enough of my own’, he thought with a scowl at the reports he had yet to read and sign lying in a pile on the corner of his desk.

Goldberg glanced at them as well, then smiled. "As you're the unfortunate A.D. who has Agent Mulder under his wing, I think you will understand the dilemma I'm in," he started. "I've got a problem that is so big, I have to do something about it."

Skinner thought he knew what came next. And he didn't like it one bit. "Does that problem have a name?" he wanted to know, well aware that Goldberg was talking about one of his agents. It was so like the man not to get to point at once.

"Oh yeah. Tesla Jezek. And she's causing so much friction, I'm afraid one of the other agents may very well put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. I need to get rid of her. Stat," Goldberg explained, his expression a bit sour.

Skinner raised an eyebrow. "Psycho?" he asked, thoughtlessly using the nickname that Tesla Jezek had earned for herself. She was certainly not someone he would consider hiring. Jezek was more trouble than she was worth. She received a lot of goodwill from her colleagues, but she also managed to piss people off. Severely.

"Yeah, Psycho," Goldberg interrupted his train of thought. "What I was thinking was that you have Mulder and I've got Jezek. You get Jezek and I want your Agent Scully in return. Then you can put Mulder and Jezek together and see what happens."

Skinner had known all along that Goldberg didn't give anything for nothing. And the thought of having to transfer Scully out of here made him shiver inside. "Not a chance, Goldberg. She's the only thing keeping Mulder in line. So forget about it."

"Look, Walter, I know you think that she's got an influence on the man, but I know enough of Mulder to know that he does what he wants. No matter what Agent Scully has to say about it. So why not? It would do her reputation good to get away from him, anyway." Goldberg was really desperate. He was trying really hard to push his wish through.

Skinner's expression told Goldberg that he didn't have a leg to stand on. "If Jezek is what you offer me in return for Scully you can forget it. She's a good agent and I wouldn't part with her on any account." He shook his head. "I will take Jezek off your hands if you're really desperate to get rid of her, but you're not getting Scully."

Goldberg took a moment to think it through, then sighed. "Okay, Walt. You win. You get Jezek and you can keep Scully. Too bad her reputation is being ruined by that lunatic." With that, Goldberg rose, mock-saluted Skinner and strode out of the office.

Skinner sat back on his chair and exhaled. This was not good. He didn't want another loose canon making life hard for him and that was what he would get from Jezek. He had never actually met the woman in person, but her reputation among his colleagues and his superiors was not good. Most department heads feared getting someone like her on their staff. Mainly because she had no scruples, no respect for authorities and seemed to believe that rules were made to be broken. So she broke them over and over again. Reprimands did no good and for some obscure reason Skinner couldn't fathom, she hadn't been fired yet. Someone on the inside was protecting her. Well, now that he was getting her, there would be changes in the way she was allowed to behave. If she stepped over the line, he would ship her straight to Alaska or some other remote place. Maybe that would teach her some manners. But he knew where to put her for the time being. He thumbed the intercom on. "Kimberly. Find Agent Mulder and get him up here at once," he growled.

"Yes sir," his secretary answered promptly.

XXX

Basement
08.30 a.m.

Mulder had just arrived to find an empty office. That was quite a surprise. Scully was usually always there before him. No matter when he came in. With a frown he draped his coat over the back of his chair and looked around. The absence of his partner gave him a bad feeling and he just considered calling her when the phone rang. He picked it up, anticipating Scully's voice. Instead he heard the crisp voice of Skinner's secretary, Kimberly.

"Agent Mulder? A.D. Skinner would like to see you in his office," she said.

Mulder briefly wondered why. "I just have to make a phone call. Then I'll be up," he told her.

"He would like to see you at once, Agent Mulder. And he's not in a good mood," Kim replied, then hung up.

Mulder looked at the receiver in his hand as if he thought it might bite him, then hung up as well. Skinner wasn't in a good mood? What had he done now? Shaking his head, he decided to call Scully later. There was no sense in upsetting the man more than necessary.

Just as he got up, Scully came in the door. "Sorry I'm late. Car trouble," she said, sounding a little out of breath. "I'm going to kill whoever thinks its fun to let the air out of peoples tires," she added and dropped her brief case on her desk. Then she noted Mulder's expression and the fact that he was on his way out the door. "What's up?"

"Skinner want's to see me. Kim said he's not in a good mood," he countered, looking a little concerned. Mainly because he had no idea what was wrong.

Scully leaned her head to one side, giving him her usual look when he was in trouble. "What did you do?" she wanted to know.

"That's the fun part of it. Nothing," he replied. "See you later," he added and strode out the door.

"Yeah – if he doesn’t fire you on the spot," Scully mumbled under her breath, thinking that Skinner would at one point get enough of Mulder and just throw him out of the Bureau.

"I heard that," Mulder said and left.

XXX

A.D. Skinner's office
08.35 a.m.

Mulder unconsciously straightened his tie when he stepped into the front office. Skinner's secretary looked up from her work and nodded to him. "Go right in. He's expecting you," she said and returned to her work, aware of that Skinner might start yelling at the man soon.

The expression on her face told Mulder much more than words would have and for the first time in his career under Skinner he felt apprehensive about going into that office, mainly because he had the same idea Scully had. It was a matter of time before he stepped over that one particular line where Skinner's patience snapped. He pushed the door open and could tell by the expression on Skinner's face that things weren't good. And all the while he was frantically trying to figure out what he had done wrong this time. Not even the last case had been something he thought Skinner would get upset about. "You wanted to see me?" he asked.

"Sit down, Agent Mulder," Skinner said brusquely and Mulder complied. Skinner looked him over for a second, his expression not wavering from the dooms-day look, then he sighed heavily. "You are getting a second partner, Agent Mulder."

Mulder's expression revealed his surprise. Basically, his jaw dropped. "I am?" he then asked and Skinner nodded.

"Yes. A Tesla Jezek. I'm sure you've heard of her. Her reputation is far worse than yours," the Assistant Director said. "We've been asked to take her in since the Spokane-office can no longer deal with her. So we get her and if that doesn't work out, she'll probably be asked to leave the Bureau for good. I'm not sure what she's been doing so far. She'll be here within the next week or so." Skinner hesitated, wondering if there was anything else he needed to tell Mulder.

Mulder stared at him. Yes, he had heard of Tesla "Psycho" Jezek. The woman was a time bomb ready to go off. She could blow a fuse over nothing – or so he had heard. "Okay," he finally said, not knowing what else to say. If she would be a part of the group, that was it. He couldn't object to it.

"That's all," Skinner told him, looking at him as if he was daring him to make a fuzz. When he realized that Mulder wouldn't, he relaxed a little. If anyone in his department would be able to deal with Jezek's arrival, it would have to be Mulder. That – and that alone had made him decide to shove her into the X-Files department. Not because Mulder and Scully needed the backup, but because the two of them would probably be the only ones ready to accept her.

Mulder got up and left the office again, feeling slightly silly because of his previous concern and more than just a little surprised. A second partner? He realized that Skinner had not assigned Jezek to the X-Files because they needed the man power. The only reason he could come up with was that if they were working together, Skinner always knew where they were.

XXX

Basement
09.00 a.m.

Scully looked up from the file she had been going over when Mulder came back in. By the look on his face she judged that something had happened, but that it wasn't bad. "So?" she asked.

"We're getting a new partner," Mulder replied and dropped down on his chair. "Psycho Jezek is being transferred to our department and we get the honor of her company." He couldn't help himself from using the nickname. According to those that knew her, she was actually proud of it.

"Psycho Jezek?" Scully asked, putting pressure on the nickname. That was someone she had never heard of before. "Who's that?"

Mulder made a face. "I've never actually met the woman, but she's said to take chances nobody else would touch with a ten-foot pole," he said and with a sly grin, he just had to add, "and if you think I'm bad, wait till you meet her. She's worse."

Scully's immediate reaction to that was disbelief. It had never dawned on her that there could be an agent more extreme than Mulder. "Worse?" she asked, sounding dubious. "That's hard to imagine."

XXX

J. Edgar Hoover Building
Assistant Director Skinner's office
November 4
07.00 a.m.

Skinner looked up when there was a knock on his door. "Come in," he said, wondering who would bother him this early. Even his otherwise ever present secretary wasn't in this early.

The door opened and what he for a second considered to be an apparition strode into the office. She was tall, blond and blue-eyed. A pair of tight jeans left fairly little to the imagination and a tight-fitting turtle neck sweater revealed a rather voluminous chest. Cowboy boots and a leather jacket made him think of a rampaging teenager. All she was missing was a gum or a cigarette. Every man's dream girl. That thought drifted through his mind and he quickly suppressed it. That was no way to think of a visitor. "Morning," she said. Her voice was deep and almost raw, but her tone left something to be desired. She sounded bored.

"Morning. Can I help you?" he asked, still staring at her as if he had never seen anything like her before.

"Yeah, I guess you can. I'm Jezek. Tesla Jezek," she introduced herself, leaving the Assistant Director of the F.B.I. in want of words. All he could do was stare at her. Jezek stared back for a moment, then spread out her arms rather forcefully. "What?" she wanted to know.

Skinner finally managed to find his voice again. "Agent Jezek?" he asked and she nodded. "Why are you here so early? I didn't expect you before noon," he went on, still staring at her. This was supposed to be the famous trouble-maker?

"Sorry to disappoint you... sir." The last she said with an almost-sneer. Her lack of respect should have made him react, but he didn't. "I got in early and I don't like waltzing into an office building like this in the middle of the day. Not the first day, anyway."

Waving at a chair, he motioned for her to sit down. She didn't comply. "Sit down," he said, causing her to glace at the chair, again without complying. "Or stand," he added. "You have a reputation, Agent Jezek. A bad one. One that I hope you will keep to a minimum while you're working for me."

At his words, she dropped down on the chair. She wasn't lady-like or cute or anything else. She didn't even seem to be very professional. "Yeah, I've got a reputation. I've got a problem accepting orders." Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees and folded her hands. "I'm a trouble maker, a suicidal maniac, a lunatic, a creep. You name it. I've heard it all before and I don't give a shit. Spokane doesn't want me because my behavior rubs off on the other agents. I'd be surprised if I last long here. I have no intention of groveling before you or anybody else. I like what I am. I do my job and that should – after all – be what counts. Right?"

Skinner didn't quite know how to react to all this. He couldn't help feeling a little intimidated by this woman. She had an exceptionally strong will. It literally emanated from her in thick, heavy waves. He pulled himself together and his eyes narrowed slightly. "Agent Jezek. I will not tolerate any kind of subordination from you. I know your reputation and I don't much care for it. I usually don't pay any attention to that. In your case, though, I'll be keeping an eye on you. If you step over the line, I will have to act. I can't have agents going their own ways if that means they jeopardize their partners."

Jezek looked a little surprised at that. "You've actually found someone who wants to work with me?" she asked and there was a certain amount of surprise in her voice as well.

"I have assigned you to the X-Files department. I have no idea what you've done so far and I don't care, to be honest. You will work together with Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Their office is in the basement. You should have no trouble finding it," Skinner droned, eyeing her closely for any signs of recognition.

"Agent Fox Mulder? Spooky Mulder?" she asked, then leaned back on the chair, a content look on her incredibly pretty face. "That's cute. I've always wanted to meet him. He's an idol of mine."

'Oh great', Skinner thought, just barely preventing himself from rolling his eyes. Mulder was getting a fan club. "Yes, the same," he agreed. "And – Agent Jezek? We have a dress code here. You can't go to work in clothes like that."

She looked down herself, a smile on her lips. "Why? Are you afraid I might upset the boys?" she countered.

"Frankly – yes. Dress conservatively – if you know how. If not, ask Agent Scully for help. What else you need to know you can learn from Scully and Mulder. Any questions?" Skinner was about to wrap this conversation up. He wanted this woman out of his office so he could think clearly again.

"Nah," she replied, getting up. "Nice meeting you... sir." Again the latter came reluctantly, but Skinner knew he had won some ground with her already. She wasn't going to be too much trouble. Or so he hoped.

XXX

Basement
08.00 a.m.

Mulder had met Scully in the garage and when they entered the office together, both were slightly surprised by the blond biker-woman sitting on Mulder's chair, her boots resting on the edge of the desk. Mulder's jaw dropped and Scully felt inclined to jab him in the ribs. He looked silly.

The woman looked up and smiled wryly. "Morning," she said and that was it.

"Ahem..." Mulder started and realized he didn't know what to say. That was a first. He glanced at Scully, who had already dropped her briefcase on her desk and turned to eye the newcomer.

"I'm Dana Scully. You must be Tesla Jezek," Scully said matter-of-fact like, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Good guess, sister," Jezek replied, then turned her attention to Mulder. "And you must be Fox Mulder," she added, giving him an appraising look. "Hmm! Not bad," she then said. "Not bad at all."

All he could do was keep staring at her. Somehow, when a woman showed him this kind of interest, he either made a fool out of himself by saying things he didn't mean or he couldn't find words. He was grateful that it was the latter that applied in this situation.

Scully gave him an annoyed look. What was it with men and blonds? she wondered. "Well, A.D. Skinner informed us that you would turn up. What have you been doing so far?" she asked, taking the lead since her dumb-struck partner couldn't seem to loosen his otherwise very loose tongue.

Jezek pursed her lips and kept on staring back at Mulder. "Everything. I haven't had the honor of working with the X-Files before, though," she said and finally looked back at Scully. "I know what they are, of course. And I have heard about him," she added and jabbed a thumb in Mulder's direction. With a mocking smile, she glanced over at him again. "I just got the impression that he was a bit more chatty."

That almost caused Scully to smile because he started to blush. "Ahem," he tried again and cleared his throat. "Sorry about that. I was just – ahem – surprised." Waving at her, indicating her attire, he glanced at Scully for help and didn't get any. "You're not exactly dressed like an FBI- agent."

Jezek looked at him with a smile, then chuckled under her breath at his feeble excuse. "Men," she said with a shake of the head. "Anyway, I've been assigned to work with you guys because nobody else wants me. So! There you have it."

Scully shook her head, too. Sometimes she just didn't understand men. They were so full of it sometimes. Although Mulder in many ways was different than your general man, he did have an obnoxious habit of falling into this standard category from time to time. And when he did, she felt like kicking him. "Do we have anything waiting for us to begin on, Mulder?" she asked pointedly.

He heaved a deep sigh, knowing he had once again stepped in it and got a grip on himself. "Yeah, I think I do." He went straight over to his desk. "Do you mind?" he asked Jezek, who pulled her feet off the desk and got up. "Thanks," he added, sat down and started rooting through the piles on the desk.

Jezek joined Scully and watched him for a moment. "Cute, ain't he?" she asked, causing Scully to give her a sharp look. "Don't worry. I can be professional when I have to."

XXX

January 13
08.00 a.m.

After having worked with Jezek for over two months, Mulder and Scully both agreed that they could trust her. She had come through for both of them a couple of times and Mulder thought that she wouldn't have if she was working for the bad guys. As it turned out, she wasn't. She was supportive of them the whole way through and even got into several arguments with Skinner in an attempt to defend their way of reasoning. As Mulder realized rather quickly, her reputation was indeed worse than his. But, and this was something he had to learn to live with, her reputation gave her a kind of respect rather than the ridicule he received.

Looking up from a report he was reading, he noted that Scully and Jezek once again arrived together and they were engrossed in conversation. Scully gave him a quick wave. "Sorry we're late," she said, smiling sweetly. Her whole disposition had changed since Jezek had joined them. No matter how rebellious Jezek was, the two of them got along just fine. Although Scully did think Jezek was a little too disrespectful and could do with learning some manners. That always amused Mulder to no end. He found the conversations between the two of them of extreme interest since they were as different as two people could get without wanting to kill each other over these differences.

"Differences or no differences. I don't care. It doesn't make a difference to me," Jezek said and dropped down on a chair with a yawn.

Scully shook her head. "That's the problem, Tesla. It doesn't make a difference to you, so you don't know what's going on," she countered.

Mulder was disappointed that he hadn't heard the start of their discussion. "What differences?" he asked, looking from one to the other.

They pointedly ignored him. "I do know what's going on, Dana. That's not the point. The point is that their differences are what keeps them apart and eventually kills them. Simple as that. The rest is mumbo-jumbo," Jezek said, glanced at Mulder and winked at him.

Now he was interested for real. "Who got killed?" he wanted to know.

Scully glanced at him. "Romeo and Juliet," she then said.

Confusion made him look from one to the other once again. "Romeo and..." he began, then trailed off. "Oh," he then said, shook his head and returned his attention to the file again. This wasn't as interesting as he had hoped for.

"Never the less, Tesla," Scully went on and sat down on her chair, "this is a love story. They have their differences and that's what attracts them to each other. But the relationship is doomed from the start. They have too many things against them to ever become truly happy. Especially in those times."

Jezek spread out her arms and made a face. "They are fiction, Dana. Fiction. They never lived," she said, sounding exasperated.

"But they could have," Scully argued.

"Enough, already," Mulder interrupted them. "If you want to have cultural conversations, do it when we're off work. Okay?"

Jezek grabbed a coffee mug and filled it with hot coffee. Then she jabbed a thumb in Mulder's general direction. "Look who's talking," she said with a smile, causing Scully to answer it with one of her own.

"Yeah, sure. Just gang up on me again," he mumbled and turned his chair so he had his back to both of them.

"Oooh. Poor baby," Jezek cooed, got up and handed him the cup. "Here. Have some brew. That might make you feel better."

He glared at her for a moment, then the corner of his mouth twitched. "I do understand why the Spokane office didn't want you around any more. You probably annoyed somebody who was going to kill you."

Jezek sat down on the edge of his desk. "No," she then said. "Somebody was going to kill me because I annoyed them. You have to work on your sentences, baby." She barely got out of his way when he lashed out at her.

"What's on the agenda?" Scully wanted to know as she poured herself a cup of coffee, too.

Mulder grabbed the file he had been reading and held it up. "This is," he said. "A small but neat case. Should be over fast. Nothing fancy." With a look on his face which Scully knew only too well, he gave the file to Jezek because she was the closest to him. "Just a little creature-hunting."

With an almost exasperated sigh, Scully let her head drop. "What kind of creature? Ghouls? Demons? Gargoyles?" she wanted to know without really wanting to know.

"Ghosts," he replied. "We've got to figure out why this old mansion is being terrorized by unknown aggressors. The owner has had the police on the site with no luck. They can't determine what causes the incidents – which by the way take place only when the owner is alone in the house."

Jezek closed the file and gave it to Scully. "What makes you think that these ghosts are going to reveal themselves to us, then?" she wanted to know.

"Well," Mulder said. "Because the police wasn't in the house at night. We, however, will be." He flashed a smile at Scully, who responded by rolling her eyes.

"You are so full of it sometimes," she told him and returned his smile. "Okay, so let's go bust some ghosts. I guess it could be fun."

XXX